thanks Acharyaji...i really cried when i read your reply...you are with Maa that i can See...well She must have revealed my humble self to you...as you know...i am too poor materially as well...i stayed just because of my biological mother...her mental illness and the ignorance of her brethren denied her...she was chased out of her home and community just because she is married(here without legal proceedings; yes, I am a love child...or frankly a bastard) my dad tried his best to provide her and my family but alas! he was hot tempered...he was abusive as well...but not to me...but to my 8th sister...My Mother had 10 children(not counting the one she had in her first marriage and a miscarriage child...) that makes me technically the tenth child and truthfully the 12th....
my Mother was a Muslim, however, she wasn't staunch and did not learn anything about Islam...even so, she was close to Maa...there was once she told me that she had put her hand onto the Trisula at our humble temple...and since that she had the trisula mark on her palms...she died on February of 2007...i dearly miss her but now i think that she has become one with Maa and is loving me dearly...
my dad...yes...i am not close to him...but then again...he was the one who built the small and humble temple at our humble house...i just hope Maa forgives him for his wrong doings...he passed away on October of 2010...
my story is long and yet short...because Maa's Lila is eternal...comparing my pain to Hers(by being separated from many of Her children and the hurt She gets by the ignorance and denial of Her existence by Her children) is futile...even Shiva could not understand her pain.
yes Acharyaji...Maa wants me to tell you my story as you are one of Her True believers! my temple will always be visited by Maa...I had always felt Her presence at the small temple...because of my true devotion towards Maa...I became powerful...Mother gives us glory that is inexplicable...my glory was unknown to me...you See...i started my Bakhti to Her when I was 8 years old...Her first forms that are Revealed to me are Maa Durga, Maa Saraswati, and Maa Lakshmi...then 2 years after...She knew that i am ready for Her true Form! i was never afraid to look into Her image...i was deeply curios about Her...from why a beautiful handsome, irresistible man is on Her feet? is he a demon She had killed as well? I studied deeper by asking my Hindu friends at primary school and got my answer...that irresistible man is Shiva...Her divine husband....one by one...my many questions about Her is answered...till i was satisfied and moved on
then came puberty and my secondary sexual nature has manifested...this is where materialism and temptations lead me to forget Her...it is not the material world or the temptation itself is wrong but my forgetting Her is the worst sin i had ever committed in eons! then sexuality hit me...i felt guilty of my sexuality and deemed myself as un-pure,worthless, sinful to God...i thought that god is the father but i really forgot that My Mother is there outside of my house weeping for my return. they reason for the shame is that i had read a bible my 5th sister kept in her closet that makes me wonder and had shaken my faith...the bible was filled by an angry god...so big and fearful he is that i am really afraid of myself and that has immobilized me...remind you i must Prabhuji that this is not the case of Maa Kali! She is in Rupam fearful but nay! to me She is the most benevolent Deity out there in this Universe and whenever i go to Her, She gives me strength instead of fear!
I returned to Maa by the blessings of my family...my Mom,Dad and Sisters would always scold me and push me to pray to Maa...as a teenager...of course I am rebellious...i would always complain to Maa as to why must it be me to be worshiping Her? Maa is sweet and subtle yet Powerful...i Know that you Know about this as well...as a devotee i must admit that you speak infinite truths... because it is all from Her...
to put it shortly(as possible as this is super long story) i complained a lot to Her...about worldly stuff and my desire to always want a Sony PlayStation gaming console etc. etc.(by the way, She did provided me with that PlayStation...LOL) Then i evolved from materialistic to spiritualistic...i know you have too Acharyaji...that is why your light is Seen from afar...as far as in Malaysia...i am a gay person...because of the false "Patriarchal doctrines", i always deemed myself as dirty and unworthy...but only with Maa, whenever i see Her, She will in eternity console me and accept my very nature...no matter if I'm straight-gay-bi-lesbian-transgender-whatever...! this makes me question about the "authority" and "sovereign" of the other gods...specifically the Abrahamic religions...because of that i trust in Maa...
Maa and all of the foreigners see that in this country...Malaysia favors the Malay race and Islam...supreme divinity of others are irrelevant...hence with the good support of the government, that "pious" man demolished the temple when we were not there...at least if he did inform us or waited us, we could save Her image...but no...he demolished it when we were absent...! coward! for that i pray to Maa for revenge...but Maa said no Child...no revenge...I am not the angry gods of west...I am beyond all these...Maa left our place at January 2010 and She had also shown me signs and told me as well that i have to stay away from Muslims as they will make me suffer...
and lo and behold! a Malay (not sure a girl or a guy) send me evil spirits and specifically demons to weaken me
and so because of that...i was possessed and i forgot 1 week of my life because of the possession...the possession happened in the year 2008... starting to manifest the end of October 2008, became very bad beginning the 2nd week of November and got healed by January 2009...the story of the attacks by evil spirits is a long one...i shall spare you! i got healed only at a Kali Temple at some place in Kuala Lumpur. thank Maa for that! if not i would never survived!
that is why i wanna leave this negative black hole and migrate and get citizenships elsewhere where Maa is there as well...US would be good as i am currently finishing my American degree program from the Upper Iowa University...
Acharyaji...that is all i have for you...other stories are just secondary and unimportant...i am super sorry if i had disrupted your daily routines and for troubling you with this long message...all blessings and love to you...
Tesh Chopra...
Jai Maha Kali
my Mother was a Muslim, however, she wasn't staunch and did not learn anything about Islam...even so, she was close to Maa...there was once she told me that she had put her hand onto the Trisula at our humble temple...and since that she had the trisula mark on her palms...she died on February of 2007...i dearly miss her but now i think that she has become one with Maa and is loving me dearly...
my dad...yes...i am not close to him...but then again...he was the one who built the small and humble temple at our humble house...i just hope Maa forgives him for his wrong doings...he passed away on October of 2010...
my story is long and yet short...because Maa's Lila is eternal...comparing my pain to Hers(by being separated from many of Her children and the hurt She gets by the ignorance and denial of Her existence by Her children) is futile...even Shiva could not understand her pain.
yes Acharyaji...Maa wants me to tell you my story as you are one of Her True believers! my temple will always be visited by Maa...I had always felt Her presence at the small temple...because of my true devotion towards Maa...I became powerful...Mother gives us glory that is inexplicable...my glory was unknown to me...you See...i started my Bakhti to Her when I was 8 years old...Her first forms that are Revealed to me are Maa Durga, Maa Saraswati, and Maa Lakshmi...then 2 years after...She knew that i am ready for Her true Form! i was never afraid to look into Her image...i was deeply curios about Her...from why a beautiful handsome, irresistible man is on Her feet? is he a demon She had killed as well? I studied deeper by asking my Hindu friends at primary school and got my answer...that irresistible man is Shiva...Her divine husband....one by one...my many questions about Her is answered...till i was satisfied and moved on
then came puberty and my secondary sexual nature has manifested...this is where materialism and temptations lead me to forget Her...it is not the material world or the temptation itself is wrong but my forgetting Her is the worst sin i had ever committed in eons! then sexuality hit me...i felt guilty of my sexuality and deemed myself as un-pure,worthless, sinful to God...i thought that god is the father but i really forgot that My Mother is there outside of my house weeping for my return. they reason for the shame is that i had read a bible my 5th sister kept in her closet that makes me wonder and had shaken my faith...the bible was filled by an angry god...so big and fearful he is that i am really afraid of myself and that has immobilized me...remind you i must Prabhuji that this is not the case of Maa Kali! She is in Rupam fearful but nay! to me She is the most benevolent Deity out there in this Universe and whenever i go to Her, She gives me strength instead of fear!
I returned to Maa by the blessings of my family...my Mom,Dad and Sisters would always scold me and push me to pray to Maa...as a teenager...of course I am rebellious...i would always complain to Maa as to why must it be me to be worshiping Her? Maa is sweet and subtle yet Powerful...i Know that you Know about this as well...as a devotee i must admit that you speak infinite truths... because it is all from Her...
to put it shortly(as possible as this is super long story) i complained a lot to Her...about worldly stuff and my desire to always want a Sony PlayStation gaming console etc. etc.(by the way, She did provided me with that PlayStation...LOL) Then i evolved from materialistic to spiritualistic...i know you have too Acharyaji...that is why your light is Seen from afar...as far as in Malaysia...i am a gay person...because of the false "Patriarchal doctrines", i always deemed myself as dirty and unworthy...but only with Maa, whenever i see Her, She will in eternity console me and accept my very nature...no matter if I'm straight-gay-bi-lesbian-transgender-whatever...! this makes me question about the "authority" and "sovereign" of the other gods...specifically the Abrahamic religions...because of that i trust in Maa...
Maa and all of the foreigners see that in this country...Malaysia favors the Malay race and Islam...supreme divinity of others are irrelevant...hence with the good support of the government, that "pious" man demolished the temple when we were not there...at least if he did inform us or waited us, we could save Her image...but no...he demolished it when we were absent...! coward! for that i pray to Maa for revenge...but Maa said no Child...no revenge...I am not the angry gods of west...I am beyond all these...Maa left our place at January 2010 and She had also shown me signs and told me as well that i have to stay away from Muslims as they will make me suffer...
and lo and behold! a Malay (not sure a girl or a guy) send me evil spirits and specifically demons to weaken me
and so because of that...i was possessed and i forgot 1 week of my life because of the possession...the possession happened in the year 2008... starting to manifest the end of October 2008, became very bad beginning the 2nd week of November and got healed by January 2009...the story of the attacks by evil spirits is a long one...i shall spare you! i got healed only at a Kali Temple at some place in Kuala Lumpur. thank Maa for that! if not i would never survived!
that is why i wanna leave this negative black hole and migrate and get citizenships elsewhere where Maa is there as well...US would be good as i am currently finishing my American degree program from the Upper Iowa University...
Acharyaji...that is all i have for you...other stories are just secondary and unimportant...i am super sorry if i had disrupted your daily routines and for troubling you with this long message...all blessings and love to you...
Tesh Chopra...
Jai Maha Kali
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